Monday, August 23, 2010

How to Handle a a Child's Tantrums Who Has Autism/Asperger

Let me start from the beginning having a child who has this disorder is not easy. You have your fun days, your crying days, your frustrating days and your downright crazy days.

My son is now 10 years old he is defiant, he doesn't want to do any type of educational work. He is getting stronger and some days I don't want to fight with him. I know I as his parent must stay strong and work with him through this phase, but whew it is draining.

When he was younger I could come up with different types of games to get him to do homework, sort of make learning fun. Now he is always saying "this is baby stuff or this is so boring".

He is a wiz on the computer with programming and installing new kinds of gadgets to make the computer run faster and do different things. When I tell him it is time to do something educational on the computer he has a fit.

Oh, did I not tell you kids who has autism/asperger are know for their tantrums/meltdowns, or at least mine is, he screams, yells, kicks on the floor. He use to destroy his room flipping over his bookcase, his mattress, throwing toys.

The best I was told to get him to stop having those destroying tantrums is to wait until he or she is calm and tell them that they must clean up their own mess. Trust me, you will get this, Oh, I can't do it, it is to heavy, I need help, and of course I'm sorry, if your child is verbal.

What ever you do don't help them. They were strong enough to flip the mattress on the floor, they are strong enough to put it back, they were mad enough to knock all the books and papers on the floor, they have to take their time to put those items back where they belong.

When they have to clean up their disaster area enough. It will slowly dawn on them in the middle of a tantrum that. Hey, I am going to have to clean this mess up if I destroy it. It took my son 3 or 4 times of cleaning up his own mess before he got the message that this is no fun.

I know we want to help them when we hear them crying or saying Help I can't do this, and yes it will take them some time and yes it may not be to your liking, but this will be the best thing for them and help them to control their anger.

Anyway, when my son was younger and we went to the store, he would act out anytime he didn't get what he wanted.

Yes, I would get embarrassed, I would get mad, I would say why me, and I would even just leave the store when I couldn't get him to calm down.

Even though we would discuss before going that we are not going to the store for him, it
never fails that something would always catch his eye and watch out for the meltdown.

When was the first time your child told you he hates you or I don't like you, thinking back he was about 6 or 7, he wanted to do something, I don't even remember what it was all I do remember was WOW WOW!!! and talk about hurt. I was hurt and sad tears welled up in my eyes and I had to turn away and get control of myself.

If you child ever does tell you that, the first time will hurt like hell. Unfortunately, it will not be the first/last time he or she does this.

Get ready for the downright hurtful things they sometimes say.

Autism/Asperger is a terrible disorder.

The children cannot read verbal or emotional cues. They don't know when they hurt your feelings. The most we can do as parents is to not take it personally, I know this is hard, but if I was to get upset every time my son told me he hated me I would be in the state facility for insane parents.

Anyway, having a child with a disability is difficult, but we as parents have to find the resources, support groups, other parents to help us deal with the emotional up and downs. I am a parent of a Asperger/Autism child and I also care about the environment we live in and what will be here when my son grows up.

Having the right tools can help you deal with the daily up and downs at can make all the difference.

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