Tuesday, May 11, 2010

How to Control Anger and Rage When You Are Upset With Your Autistic Child

Controlling anger and rage when you are upset with your autistic child can be a challenge. But, there are healthy ways it can be done. How, you are probably asking? You as an adult, want to become a powerful and respectful parent(s), or caregiver(s), who acts, thinks, talks and makes decisions that are good choices.

One way to help you after you have anger and rage, is being aware of the attention that is involved. Attention, is quiet, it can be on the border of being intense. Attention is the solid ground the person feels comfortable with. It makes you aware of what is happening or going on in the present. You want to be aware of how you are acting, or responding to your child with autism and yourself, by giving attention to the matter at hand.

Empathy, is another important element. This allows you, with the anger, rage to feel the attention. Empathy builds self-awareness. The more open you are to your own emotions, the more skilled you will be in understanding, or having an inkling of how to read feelings in your child.

Remember, to take time that allows heated emotions to cool down. When you find time to cool down, then you and your child, can act and talk on a common ground level for both of you to understand.

You as parent(s), or caregiver(s), must try to take a walk, a drive, a stroll, go to another room, find some quiet time, or turn on some soft music and just sit in silence. If you do not find a way to cool down, you may regret it. When I become angry and sometimes I have rage, I find it comforting to cool off, by looking at my colorful flowers or plants. By doing this for myself, I see and feel new positive energy and peace.

I have learned from my own experience, that most people who get angry, or are in rage, are trying to make a connection, with another person. The type of connection you are trying to make is with your child who has the disorder of autism.

Some of the healthy connections you can make with your child to help you, with anger, and rage, is, eye to eye, face to face, hand to hand, side by side, connections. This can be done by using soft verbal words in a calm voice to make these connections. Coming out of anger and rage, can be rewarding, beneficial, if you are diligent in remembering, to give attention to the situation and follow through with, empathy, time and contact or connection, with your child. In time, your emotions will cool down, and you will be able to communicate on common ground with your child.

Anger and rage, from being parent(s), or caregiver(s) can escalate into something serious if you are not aware, of how to control it, and what causes it. We all lose our temper and become angry. It sometimes could be more trying when you have a child with autism, and it affects his or her siblings and other family members.

If you are aware of anger and rage that happens often with your child, and you find it is hard to understand why it is happening, or it becomes out-of-control, then it is best to acquire some help, or talk it over with an autism specialist, who has a better understanding of how you can cope with this issue and correct it. Your child and you are worth it to have a healthy relationship.

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