Children, Autism, and Violence: Inception of Monstrous Behaviors

Parents of violent and autistic children have the patience of steel. The monstrous behavior of their children - verbal threats, physical aggression, frequent loss of temper, and extreme impulsiveness - desolate their lives and enforce them to experience serious injuries and unpredictable repercussions.
Numerous researches tell us the numerous roots of children's violent behaviors. According to a research by Dr. Rebecca J. Scharf, University of Virginia, "Short nighttime sleep duration can raise monstrous behaviors in children." In addition, the Journal of Pediatrics uncovers, "Aggressive behaviors of children are related to soft drink ingestion." Also, a Case Western Reserve University study indicates that children who witness violence between their parents usually embrace violent behaviors.
Psychiatrist, Dr. Jeremy Veenstra-VanderWeele, tells us, "Planned violence is not the trait of an autistic child." Something and anything can immediately ignite the feelings of severe outbursts inside him and coerce him to perform pernicious acts. Therefore, it's significant to realize that sometimes autistic children's violent actions are not under their own control. Their eyes stop seeing and ears stop listening, and they just act without thinking anything. Few studies reveal that the limited verbal skill is the cause of violent behaviors too. Because, limited verbal skill forces autistic children to show physical aggression instead of using words.
It's probably not possible to cure autism in the near future. But, right now we have the full capability to identify and treat violent behaviors. Autism itself is not dangerous. However, when violence merges with autism, the situation becomes lethal. All we need to do is to separate violent behaviors from autism and cut the roots of the actual problem. The right support and right treatment can improve the quality of your child's life and invite heavenly happiness in the home. Therefore, I've put together 12 methods that can help you to turn a violent, autistic child into calm and cooperative.
1 - Don't interrogate your kids, because words are like a second language to them. Words ruffle their hearts and puzzle their minds. The more you interrogate them with your leading questions, the more you ignite irritability inside them and intimidate them to convey their feelings through violent behaviors.
2 - Children with ASD make indirect requests, and that lead to all kinds of problems. Parents often perceive the actual desire of the child from the wrong context, and this thing leads to more distressful situation. If your child is asking questions regarding Christmas repeatedly, in the middle of the June, then it doesn't mean he wants to know about Christmas. He possibly wants you to bring the Christmas tree right now.
3 - In the autistic kids with antisocial personality, the risk of violence is the highest. Kids with antisocial personality are more apt to violence than those who have anxiety disorders. Furthermore, there is one alarmed fact that indicates that kids with antisocial personality are also at the probability of dying from suicide. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be effective in helping kids to alter their violent thought patterns.
4 - Dr. Thomas N. Robinson, a professor of pediatrics at Stanford, tells us, "Exposing kids to less aggression on television will have a positive influence on behaviors." Also, Dr. Dimitri A. Christakis, lead author of the study, and a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington, said, "The take-home message for parents is, it's not just about turning off the TV; it's about changing the channel." These situations demonstrate that watching educational television with children can actually improve the behaviors.
5 - Just change the details; don't change the entire picture. Details are the main culprits that either water down or intensify the aggressive mode of the kid. So, concentrate on changing the details rather than changing the entire picture in order to control your child's behavior.
6 - Autistic children learn best through action, and their behavioral nature can be changed by introducing new, positive activities into their lives.
7 - Feelings of being valueless can also intensify violent behaviors in children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). If children with ASD are not good at social skills, it doesn't mean they don't understand what is exactly happening around them. The weird treatment of society and lack of love makes it difficult for these children to subdue the core feelings of low self-esteem. Consequently, their fight with a feeling of being impaired turns them into a hurtful, violent creature.
8 - Violence can also be a way of seeking attention. Give him the comprehensive, positive response and have frequent, thorough communication with him as much as you can, in case you constantly ignore the core feelings of your child, or don't understand his indirect messages. This will gradually stop him from seeking negative attention through violence, and he will begin to learn proper ways to convey his feelings.
9 - Autistic children also use violence for having a sense of control over their environment - when they are unable to deal with immediate change and flooding sensory information. We already know that most of these kids are born without filtering system. Their minds digest every bit of information in the paramount detail and don't easily allow them to experience unpredictable change. So, it's better to keep their lives as much predictable as you can, because an unpredictable change can invite a monstrous behavior inside them.
10 - Some non-verbal autistic kids comfortably express their emotions through written words and drawings. It's very possible for you too to teach your kid this way for expressing emotions. This will not only ease the environment at home but also help you to understand his exact feelings. In addition, this method will help you to turn violent situations into healthy, playful games.
11 - If your kid is violent, then there is a 90% chance that the presence of negativity in his routines is responsible for his behavior. In order to resolve this problem, all you need to do is to make his routines as happy as you can, because happy routines develop happy children.
12 - Reward his good behavior, because rewards motivate him to act more positively in future. Just catch him doing something good, give him a compliment, hug him, kiss him, and let him do his favorite activity. Rewarding system keeps the child motivated and force him emotionally and psychologically to change his bad behaviors and adopt the good ones.
Remember, every child has a little natural self-control; don't expect your child to take mature steps or understand the situation automatically. Almost every child sometimes acts violently in order to achieve his needs. Just use the above strategies and act with love; you have the ability to teach him how to exhibit feelings through appropriate ways.

Isaac Smith has worked with children with autism for over 8 years. His company accommodates workshops and training materials regarding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - which is a common childhood behavioral disorder. You can get more insightful and specific information regarding "Autism in Children" through his website at: http://www.pleasedparents.com
Isaac teaches simple psychological and emotional tactics that connect parents with their autistic child, emotionally and psychologically. His effective strategies solve the obsessive issues of an autistic child easily and bring peace and harmony in the home... For more valuable information, visit his blog: http://www.pleasedparents.com/blog.html

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A Diagnosis of Autism: Making Adjustments to Manage Feelings of Loss and Grief

Having a child with a disability is every parent's nightmare. Once you have heard the words, "Your child has Autism." the disappointment, anger and the feeling of isolation can leave you in shock. How long you remain there will be determined by how well you deal with your emotions.
Disappointment, anger and self-pity are natural feelings to have when you first receive a diagnosis of Autism. Giving yourself permission to experience these emotions and then letting them go as best as you can will help you focus all your energy on becoming the best person for the job that has been assigned to you.
GRIEF is a powerful emotion and is the most common hurdle that keeps many parents from moving forward. It is extremely important to allow your self to go through and experience the stages of grief, which include denial, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance. Dealing with these emotions in a healthy manner will transform you into a most effective advocate - one that will see the way clearly to maximize your child's greatest potential.
Some parents do not like to use the words loss or grief as it relates to Autism because it implies grieving your child. This grieving process is not about mourning your child but more about grieving the loss of a future you had HOPED for.
You HAVE experienced a loss, a LOSS of the dream you had for yourself, your child and your family - a disappointment about an idealized future. This means that...
certain adjustments need to be made to the vision you held for your child and family. As with any loss, parents of children diagnosed with Autism need to find a way to make peace with the diagnosis in order to move forward.
Just remember the dream you have for your family's future can still be positive, it is just going to be different. In spite of the new category the medical profession has placed your child into, the destination can still be the same but the journey to get there is going to take a unique path.
Important things to keep in mind:
1) You have to get past the hurt, disappointment, anger, and distress. Too much negative energy will only drain you and make you less available to your child.
2) Dealing with these emotions is not only OK; it's mandatory. If you really want to help your child, this can do more for your child than any treatment out there.
3) Keep in mind that this is a process you have to keep working at. You may feel as if you have resolved your grief but there will be days when it returns. Expect it, have a plan to deal with it so you can keep putting one foot in front of the other.
If you can't seem to move forward and days like this turn into weeks, you may be experiencing another emotional block. The best way to shorten its course is to find someone that will listen and help you process your feelings in a non-judgmental way.
This is when you have to call on someone from your support team! This could be a trusted friend - a supportive objective someone - or a professional such as a parent coach or a therapist.
Remember, this diagnosis does not change your child; but it does change how you need to work with your child. Don't waste your time and energy being angry with yourself or the doctors, it does your child no good to linger in a negative state. Forget the what-ifs - look ahead, make the necessary adjustments and set the bar high for everyone, including your child.
The most important thing I tell parents is "Don't focus on the label - focus on finding the best way to connect with the wonderfully unique child you have before you." This new label may help you acquire insurance to cover therapies but it can also keep you focused on the negative so pay little attention to it. Instead focus your energy on connecting to your child's world with thoughtful intention because it will open the door for her to enter into your world, the one she has to find her way to live in.
Every child has challenges and the challenges your child is faced with just happens to have a particular name called 'Autism' or 'PDD-NOS' or 'Aspergers' or 'ASD' or.... Don't let a 'name' cover up the amazing potential that lies within your child.
It may help to remember that your child isn't any different now then he was when you didn't know he had autism. You know he's the same child you've loved since birth. So I urge you to focus on uncovering his abilities, not treating his disabilities, in order to change possibilities!

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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Tips For Coping With Aggression In Your Autistic Child

One of the common symptoms in children with autism is aggressive behavior. Aggression can occur in many different ways. Physical aggression can be directed toward you, other children, the child him or herself, or even toward inanimate objects. Furthermore, aggression in autistic children isn't limited to physical behaviors but also extends to verbal aggression too.
Whether physical or verbal, aggression in an autistic child can be very upsetting and potentially dangerous. For this reason, autistic children who display aggressive symptoms require more supervision in order to prevent them from injuring others or themselves.
Naturally, parents don't want to simply let this aggression continue and have to deal with it as it occurs. Therefore, efforts are being made on many levels to discover different ways to cope with aggression in autistic children and to decrease or at least curb its incidence.
Often, the first options to reduce aggression suggested by doctors is medication - particularly if the aggressive episodes seem especially hazardous to the child or those around him or her. Keep in mind that the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not yet approved any medication that specifically treats autism. However, success has been witnessed in using drugs designated for other conditions in order to lessen the aggressive symptoms of autism.
It should be noted, though, that every individual reacts differently to medications, and while some children may respond very well to a certain dose of a drug, others will have a completely different reaction. The process is highly individualized and takes careful observation, measurement, and work with a health care professional in order to avoid any of the potential side effects or interactions.
Recently, it has been the anti-psychotic medications - specifically those which have been approved for schizophrenia treatments - that have produced the most favorable results in autism aggression reduction. For example, a 2002 study called "Risperidone in Children with Autism and Serious Behavioral Problems" (McCracken, J.T, M.D., McGough, J, M.D, et al.), published in the New England Journal of Medicine, examined the impact of Risperdal (Risperidone) on aggression in children with autism. At the end of this 8 week study, 69 percent of the children given Risperdal were said to have either "much improved" or "very much improved", in comparison to only 12 percent within the placebo group.
However, many parents do not wish to medicate - or further medicate - their children with anti-psychotic drugs. These drugs do come with potential negative side effects and can be dangerous if overdosed. Therefore, alternatives are often sought. Working with your child's doctor can be very important in this process. To try to alter behavior, parents should pay very close attention to exactly what is happening before and during an aggressive episode. It is important to try and identify trends that lead to an outburst of aggression.
For example, some parents find that their children will suddenly become upset while having their teeth brushed. There are many activities that go on during tooth brushing and each should be considered when assessing what caused the aggressive reaction. Is it opening the mouth wide? Is it the feeling of bristles against the teeth, gums, cheek, roof of the mouth, or tongue? Has the toothbrush gone in too far and hit the gag reflex? Is saliva pooling near the back of the mouth (causing a drowning sensation)? Is it drooling? Is it the smell, texture, or taste of the toothpaste? Is it the foaming of the toothpaste? Is it the sensation of spitting or swallowing saliva and toothpaste?
Every element needs to be examined and tested to see if the situation can be improved. For example, trying different kinds of toothbrushes with softer bristles, a different shaped head, or different textured bristles, or different flavors of toothpaste or gels. Different brushing techniques should also be tried to avoid various sensations, and saliva levels in the mouth should be carefully monitored.
Similarly, other children react not to a sensory sensitivity, but as a result of feeling upset or frustrated from something that they cannot verbalize. For example, a child who tries to tie his or her shoes but who has not yet developed the skills with which to do so might feel very frustrated and become unable to express the root of the frustration and instead react aggressively. When under stress, speaking clearly can be a huge challenge for autistic children and they often revert to the behaviors of younger children instead of saying what they want.
It should also be considered that if aggression has suddenly developed or worsened, there might be an allergic reaction to foods, environmental conditions, medications or a change in home or school environment. Drugs may have potential side effects including aggression. They may also interact with other drugs being taken by the child. Furthermore, seasonal allergies or food allergies may cause discomforts in an autistic child to which he or she is very sensitive and cannot properly verbalize, leading to aggressive behaviors. It is important to examine all possibilities to root out the problem.
The most important thing to remember once your child has become aggressive is for you and those around you to stay calm and talk quietly.
If appropriate, remove objects that your child could hurt themselves or others with. Ask other people present to leave the room or give your child space, but make sure you or another responsible adult stays. Never leave your child alone.
Should your child be in an appropriate environment try to avoid saying anything as this can be inflammatory and can prolong the aggressive behavior. By staying calm and quiet your child may stop their behavior more quickly.
Of course, it is also possible for a child to be displaying autistic symptoms and traits without truly being autistic at all. It is important to make certain that a misdiagnosis has not occurred by considering alternative mental disorders that can present with the same or similar behaviors.

Grab your free copy of Rachel Evans' brand new Autism Newsletter - Overflowing with easy to implement methods to help you and your family find out about coping with autism symptoms and for information on coping with autism aggression please visit The Essential Guide To Autism.

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How to Understand the Anger and Rage in People With Autism

"I am very angry and filled with rage. I cannot express my anger, but I feel it. This anger permeates into every part of my being. It helps me to stay alive. It gives me energy to exist. It seems to be functioning to protect me. It is like a person standing over me and protecting me. It feels as if the rage has torn me apart and allows one part of myself to take care of the parts that cannot take care of themselves. My anger and rage are being put to work to function in a way that is helping me inside. This anger and rage is inside waiting to come out. It cannot come out now because it has an important job to do, but when it does it will fill a very large room."
What is this autistic boy telling us? We can break up his message into two parts:
1) The dissociation experienced by autistic individuals and
2) How emotions such as rage and anger function within the autistic individual.
He seems to be telling us that he can feel his anger and rage, but more importantly cannot express it. From his vantage point, these emotions seem to be functioning as an internal protective mode. They protect the weaker parts of him that cannot protect themselves. It is like they are "people" protecting him.
In some regards this can make sense. The autistic individual has not had a completed attachment and thus is left in a dissociated unconscious state (lowest functioning autistic child). This changes as the child develops. Thus he can become more conscious and less dissociated and then we would call him high functioning or with Asperger's. Eventually he may not be identified as being on the autism spectrum at all.
It is important to note that from the perspective of an Incomplete Attachment the child is functioning in a normal state of dissociation. Parts of the self are not conscious to or available to the person to use in their communications with others. It is the state that the ASD individual lives. Bromberg (1994)* believes all individuals begin life made up of multiple self-states. Our wholeness develops through a relationship with another person. Because the autistic person lacks an attachment, he remains in a non-whole state. Thus the individual has different parts of himself that have not integrated.
In this situation, this autistic boy not only is in a normal state of dissociation, but also as he lives in this state of dissociation and as he develops, he learns to adapt to the situation and parts of himself (in this case his rage and anger) become internal methods to handle and cope with his situation.
I believe that as he develops a significant relationship with a person who understands his predicament, together they can forge an attachment that will help him to become less dissociated. He will be able to communicate his rage and anger and other emotions as he becomes less dissociated. As this occurs, he will be able to communicate the feelings that up to this point have only been internalized.
It is important to note that some autistic individuals are filled with rage and anger and that as they do develop we see more of the explosive anger coming out. Some individuals seem to be filled with inordinate amounts of anger. I think of this from three perspectives:
1) the excessive anger might be due to his rage at not having had a direct outlet for these emotions. In other words, he had to live without access to his emotions so he is filled with anger that has never previously seen the light of day,
2) when anger is dissociated the child does not have control over his emotions. Until his angry feelings are understood, they will come out as intermittent explosive acts of rage and
3) he probably has lots of angry feelings towards others that may not have helped him to express his anger. This may not seem logical, but I would imagine the autistic child looks to the caregivers and others to know how to solve his dilemma and when this does not happen in a reasonable time, his anger may grow. When he finally has access to his emotions, there is what I think of as a lot of residual anger to deal with. Thus it would be important that when working with autistic individuals from a 'relational perspective', it would be important to expect this build up anger to come forward. This will be a positive move for the autistic individual, but caregivers and others may not know how to manage their own feelings when they are bombarded with these angry emotions.
* For more information see: Bromberg, P. M. (1994), "Speak! That I May See You" Some Reflections on Dissociation, Reality, and Psychoanalytic Listening. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 4 (4): 517-547.

Karen Savlov is a psychoanalyst and Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in West Los Angeles, California. My specialty is Autism Spectrum Disorders, anger, dissociation, depression, anxiety and relationships. For new and creative ways to think about autism read and follow my blog at http://www.wonderingaboutautism.blogspot.com. I can also be followed on Twitter at Autism Thoughts.

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