Helping Your ASD Child Survive A Sensory Sensitive Holiday

The holidays are a time of great joy, laughter, learning experiences, sensory awakenings, and fabulous opportunities. Unfortunately, maintaining a holiday atmosphere full of merriment and cheer is not possible to sustain twenty-four hours a day, every day of the week, especially when you have a child on the autism spectrum.

It's that time of year when candy, lights, sounds, new foods, family, and utter chaos can easily over stimulate your ASD child if you aren't paying attention. Keeping up with your child's sensory needs may seem difficult to do in the middle of holiday mayhem but it is the most important thing you can do to make the holiday season in your family more peaceful.

Sensory overload is very common during the holidays, for parents as well as children. It's a time of school field trips and parties, family visits, decorations galore and holiday shopping, when the stores are busier than ever. All of this activity makes it easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and more difficult to maintain the status quo.

Here are a few strategies and ideas to help the whole family get through this season with lots of pictures of smiling people and as many joyful memories as possible.

For the child who is sensitive to light:

Traveling sunglasses - If your child is sensitive to bright lights you should always be prepared with a set of sunglasses. Dropping in on Uncle Jim who is competing to have the best-lit house on his block may be too much for anyone's eyes to adjust to. Always have a supply of cheap yet fun sunglasses on hand to shade your child's eyes from glaring department store lights or the Christmas tree blinkers. You never know where you will find them.

For the child who is sensitive to touch:

Handling holiday huggers - This one is very difficult to address, especially with grandparents that just want to hug their grandchild to bits and pieces out of sheer love and joy. Some children love the deep pressure and will spend many happy times getting squeezes and cheek-pinches. Other children might flinch, back away or freak out or even hit, especially if startled by the touch.

Teach your child how to politely let people know they don't want to be touched. Either with a non-verbal signal, such as outstretched hand in STOP signal mode or with words, such as, "No, I don't want to be hugged, but I will shake your hand." This allows your child to experience a feeling of control and hopefully success in communicating.

Dressing for comfort - Many parents want their children to look their best for the holidays, especially for those photo sessions. But who can have fun and relax when they're uncomfortable? The most important thing for your child to be wearing during the holidays is a smile. Be willing to make compromises and respect your child's honesty when she says, "This itches too much."

Arguing with her statement will only risk a potential meltdown later in the day when she absolutely can't stand it anymore - if you were even able to get her to wear the itchy item in the first place. Feel free to cut off tags, turn clothing inside out so they don't feel the seams, or even wear a special pair of pj's. It's a holiday and kids are cute, you can get away with it!

For the child who is sensitive to sound:

Minimizing noise - Many children benefit from wearing earplugs or headphones during big family gatherings or at busy stores. They won't block out all the noise but will dull the noise enough to help. If you choose to use noise cancelling headphones just remember that you will have to work harder at trying to get their attention.

Scout out a place of respite - Wherever your travels take you during the holidays, be it grandma's house, the airport or shopping, find a nice quiet space away from everyone for a possible get-away. Bring your child's favorite snuggly, blanket or feel-good object for extra comfort. Don't be afraid to say to relatives, "His body needs some quiet time" and bring him to the previously identified place of respite so he can relax and regroup. Whether you stay with him or not, you or he will know when it is time to rejoin the group.

For the child with sensitive tastes or delicate tummies:

B.Y.O.F.- Bring Your own food - Holidays provide a great opportunity to try new foods. Taking a bite of cranberry for the first time can be a delight or a nightmare. If you know your child isn't going to eat what your host has served, be honest. Definitely let them know of any allergies ahead of time and if the list of your child's taste sensitivities is too long, bring an alternative food and don't apologize for it.

If the only thing your child will eat is a bologna sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, so be it, as long as the reason for it is a legitimate sensory issue. Giving in to a child's minor dislikes too easily will develop an expectancy for future requests to be honored and you will be contributing to the picky eater syndrome.

For the child with a sensitive nose:

Develop scent awareness - Be cautious of scents that you place around the house during the holiday season. A child with a sensitive nose may not react well to different smells. Potpourri, air fresheners and scented candles in particular can carry very intense odors that could be responsible for contributing to an outburst. Consider purchasing unscented products and stick to natural aromas. Be careful though, even the wonderful smell of a fresh cut Christmas tree might be overwhelming to the senses of some children on the autism spectrum.

As parents, you know your child as well as anyone and most of these sensitivities are well known to you but as children develop, new sensitivities can arise. Paying attention to clues and noticing new reactions right from the start can go a long way towards preventing unnecessary meltdowns due to sensory overloads. Don't let something as avoidable as this put a damper on your holiday celebrations this season.

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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Autistic Children And Holidays - How You Can Make It The Best Holiday Yet

Having a child with autism can be difficult on any day. Make that day a holiday and the stress increases ten-fold. So many changes in settings, noise level, schedules and many other things make it very difficult for the autistic child to cope. What can you do to make the holiday season easier on your child?

First start preparing them way in advance. If they know a change is coming, they may take it easier, then if they simply have to cope with the change that day. Try to explain what will be happening, so that they have an idea ahead of time what to expect.

Give them safe zones. Is the house going to be full will people? Make sure that your child knows that it is okay for them to go to their own room if they are feeling overwhelmed by everything. Not going to be at home, bring a comfort item with you, or speak to the host and see if a room cannot be set up for the child in case they need to remove themselves from the situation. Just a little preparation beforehand can make all the difference in the stress level of the day.

Involve them. Let them pick the music that is playing, let them help decorate or pick what the lights on the tree do. By giving them some control over the environment, you're giving them something to focus on, other then the things that may stress them.

Don't over do it. Most children find the excitement of Christmas overwhelming. If non-autistic children find holidays overwhelming, imagine how your autistic child feels. Limit what you're doing in a day. Don't spend an entire day out and about visiting lots of relatives. Instead try to spread out the visits over a week, or have one parent remain at home with your child, while the other parent makes the rounds. Do whatever you can to reduce the stressful situations for your child during the holiday season to make it easier on all involved.

Try to maintain the normal routine as much as possible. With the holidays our schedules become hectic and very off the normal. Do you best to maintain as much normalcy as you can for your child, and you will find it much easier to cope yourself. Try to keep bedtime the same, bedtime routines how they should be. Keep as much of the day how it should be to ease the difficulties your child may have with the holidays.

Holiday seasons can go smoothly with an autistic child as long as you plan things out well. Just remember to let the child have some control over the situation, and line up safe zones for them for the times stress is just to much.

Autism and holidays can be a very difficult issue to cope with, for more coping methods click here!

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8 Ways to Survive (and Maybe Even Enjoy) A Family Holiday With a Child With Autism

Work has become tedious. The walls of your home seem to be closing in. You NEED a vacation. But the thought of traveling with your children, especially your child with autism, is less than enticing.

Families need vacations: time to escape the regular chores, schedules and routines of home and family. Holidays mean a chance to break away from routine, a change of pace, new setting, food, people and activities; not exactly autism friendly! Traveling with children is always more challenging, but planning a vacation with a child with autism can seem downright daunting.

There are ways to alleviate some of the stress and create a getaway that is enjoyable for every member of the family. Some simple guidelines and smart planning will make a big difference!

1. Start small

Children with autism do best with small steps. If your child has never had time away from home it is wise to take a "mini vacation" for a few hours, build up to a whole day and soon after that a night away. The more familiar a child is with a new activity the less anxiety they will experience. A few hours spent in an activity close to home that is similar to what you plan to do on vacation, will be worth the time and energy. You may choose to visit a local beach, shop, sight - see in your town or spend some time on a boat. The closer the "mini holiday" matches the real thing, the better.

2. Take time to preview

Our anxiety levels typically increase when we have no clue what to expect about an upcoming event. Many people have a difficult time with the "unknown." This is particularly true of kids with autism! As adults, we may choose to browse a travel guide, read rating scales and look at photo galleries of places where we plan to visit in order to preview where we are going and what we can expect. Our children who live with autism will benefit from these activities as well. Browse the Internet, peruse travel brochures and maybe even visit a bookstore and/or library to allow your child to read about a specific place that you plan to visit. There are numerous books about traveling on an airplane, visiting grandparents, ocean life or life in big cities. Whatever you decide to do with your family, reading about it is an awesome way to acquaint your children with the idea.

3. Pack a map

Individuals with autism gain a sense of calm from predictability and familiarity. When planning a trip, highlight the route on a map and if you know where you plan to stop, mark those spots on the map. Maps are often appealing to children with autism and they provide a visual tool that the child can hold and manipulate as they travel. For children that can read you may consider providing a list of some of the towns or cities through which you will travel. Children can check them off as they go or just use them as a reference when they want to know, where they are. Maps and trip itineraries are useful tools to reduce anxiety because they provide a tangible reference point and predictability. Route changes can also be made quickly on the map or just written on a piece of paper.

4. Pack a calendar with Velcro

Not knowing how days will be filled and what will happen next is unnerving for individuals who live with autism (and for many non autistic people)! Many of us rely on electronic gadgets or day planners to keep us feeling directed, calm and in control. When planning your family trip, bring along a calendar or a day planner of some sort. Attach a strip of Velcro on each day of the trip and bring along pictures of activities or places.

Photographs, brochure cut outs, or homemade pictures will work. If the child is able to read, then writing on the calendar may be just as useful. By attaching events and activities to specific days we give our children the opportunity to see what is coming and to organize the time in their minds. The Velcro gives us the flexibility of changing plans if necessary. It also demonstrates to our kids that events are not always fixed; plans change. The key is to teach the child to refer to the calendar when they are feeling uneasy. Reward them when they do so. The alternative is to listen to a constant barrage of questions.

5. Plan time fairly

Each person needs to know that their needs will be met. Children with autism need time away from the hustle of holidays. Holidays by nature, tend to be very social, unpredictable and novel. If we want to set up the experience to be enjoyable we need to try to create "downtime" for the child with autism. This may mean allowing that child to participate in a favorite activity for a portion of time; whatever activity the child truly enjoys doing that helps him to unwind. It may mean that the child spins, jumps, twirls a sensory toy or just sits in a chair.

Watching the history channel while the family is down at the beach may be just what the teen with autism needs. The activity is driven by the child and NOT the parent. Using a timer or visual clock helps to set parameters around the activity. Using cell phones or Walkie Talkies allow parents and kids to communicate when they are not in direct contact.

6. Avoid over planning

Choose a few favorite activities rather than trying to cram everything into the day. A trip to Disneyland can be a sensory nightmare for a child with autism. Limiting the amount of activity that is done in a day will go a long way to making the trip more pleasant for the whole family. Do you really have to visit all of the theme parks? Is it necessary to shop in every mall? Must you participate in all of the resort activities? Your child with autism may not be capable of managing the sensory, emotional and social stimulation that more typical children are able to cope with.

7 Plan for unstructured time

Children with autism may not be able to entertain themselves and parents shouldn't have to be entertainment directors. Some simple tools will make unstructured times like travel time and waiting for flights much more bearable. Start with a written or picture menu of all of the available items to play with. Be sure to show only the choices that ARE available! Fidget toys, digital toys, magnetic travel games, iPods, handheld games, a whiteboard with markers and magnetic puzzles are invaluable when down time is non negotiable. "Wait cards" and "Unavailable cards" are invaluable when we need to let a child know that an activity or item is either delayed or not available. These cards must be part of the child's daily life before the vacation so that they are tolerable for the child during the holiday.

8. Don't leave home without the Visuals

Visual supports are an absolute necessity when traveling with children that have autism...even if you are away from home for a day! Pictures, calendars, maps, brochures, photos and short scripts provide individuals with autism a priceless gift of predictability and order. Holidays can be filled with distractions, changes of plans, new events and unknown people. Sensory stimulation, emotions and expectations are on overload and the potential for meltdowns is high. Visual supports can act as an anxiety reducer and a welcome relief. A social script can be quickly written on paper or a whiteboard before the child is expected to participate in an unfamiliar social situation.

For example, the rules of hanging out on the beach could be written as a social script and reviewed each time a child goes to the beach:

People like to play on the beach and some people like to lie down on the beach.

We are careful not to kick sand on people when we walk in the sand.

We can lay our towels next to each other in the family.

We can lay our towels 1 or 2 big steps away from someone that we do not know.

When we lift our towels we are careful not to shake sand on other people.

The beach is fun.

The most important item to make sure you bring along on a vacation is the expectation to enjoy it. Our thoughts control much of what we experience so it is worthwhile to affirm in your own mind that this time away will be fun. Remind yourself to really watch your children as they experience new things; smile, breathe deeply and laugh often. When plans don't quite work remind yourself that "it is what it is" and your reaction to a situation is really what determines the outcome. Choose to be cheerful and positive and your mood will likely rub off on the rest of your family.

Plopping your children in a car, driving for six hours and telling them to stop whining will not likely result in a great vacation! Planning ahead will play a huge role in creating a holiday that is fun filled. There are little things that we take for granted about traveling that we must be aware of so that we can create a great vacation. You need it. Your family needs it. Go ahead and have fun!

Jennifer Krumins is a full time teacher in Ontario, Canada with 19 years of experience in special education and the regular classroom. A mother of three (one of which has autism), she is currently teaching severely challenged teenagers with autism. She is the author of two books:

Been There. Done That. Finally Getting it Right. A Guide to Educational Planning for Students with Autism: Lessons from a Mother and Teacher.

and

One Step at a Time: ABA and Autism in the Classroom; Practical Strategies for Implementing Applied Behaviour Analysis for Student with Autism

Please feel free to visit Jennifer's website at http://www.autismaspirations.com or email her at krumins@autismaspirations.com

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