Helping Your ASD Child Survive A Sensory Sensitive Holiday

The holidays are a time of great joy, laughter, learning experiences, sensory awakenings, and fabulous opportunities. Unfortunately, maintaining a holiday atmosphere full of merriment and cheer is not possible to sustain twenty-four hours a day, every day of the week, especially when you have a child on the autism spectrum.

It's that time of year when candy, lights, sounds, new foods, family, and utter chaos can easily over stimulate your ASD child if you aren't paying attention. Keeping up with your child's sensory needs may seem difficult to do in the middle of holiday mayhem but it is the most important thing you can do to make the holiday season in your family more peaceful.

Sensory overload is very common during the holidays, for parents as well as children. It's a time of school field trips and parties, family visits, decorations galore and holiday shopping, when the stores are busier than ever. All of this activity makes it easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and more difficult to maintain the status quo.

Here are a few strategies and ideas to help the whole family get through this season with lots of pictures of smiling people and as many joyful memories as possible.

For the child who is sensitive to light:

Traveling sunglasses - If your child is sensitive to bright lights you should always be prepared with a set of sunglasses. Dropping in on Uncle Jim who is competing to have the best-lit house on his block may be too much for anyone's eyes to adjust to. Always have a supply of cheap yet fun sunglasses on hand to shade your child's eyes from glaring department store lights or the Christmas tree blinkers. You never know where you will find them.

For the child who is sensitive to touch:

Handling holiday huggers - This one is very difficult to address, especially with grandparents that just want to hug their grandchild to bits and pieces out of sheer love and joy. Some children love the deep pressure and will spend many happy times getting squeezes and cheek-pinches. Other children might flinch, back away or freak out or even hit, especially if startled by the touch.

Teach your child how to politely let people know they don't want to be touched. Either with a non-verbal signal, such as outstretched hand in STOP signal mode or with words, such as, "No, I don't want to be hugged, but I will shake your hand." This allows your child to experience a feeling of control and hopefully success in communicating.

Dressing for comfort - Many parents want their children to look their best for the holidays, especially for those photo sessions. But who can have fun and relax when they're uncomfortable? The most important thing for your child to be wearing during the holidays is a smile. Be willing to make compromises and respect your child's honesty when she says, "This itches too much."

Arguing with her statement will only risk a potential meltdown later in the day when she absolutely can't stand it anymore - if you were even able to get her to wear the itchy item in the first place. Feel free to cut off tags, turn clothing inside out so they don't feel the seams, or even wear a special pair of pj's. It's a holiday and kids are cute, you can get away with it!

For the child who is sensitive to sound:

Minimizing noise - Many children benefit from wearing earplugs or headphones during big family gatherings or at busy stores. They won't block out all the noise but will dull the noise enough to help. If you choose to use noise cancelling headphones just remember that you will have to work harder at trying to get their attention.

Scout out a place of respite - Wherever your travels take you during the holidays, be it grandma's house, the airport or shopping, find a nice quiet space away from everyone for a possible get-away. Bring your child's favorite snuggly, blanket or feel-good object for extra comfort. Don't be afraid to say to relatives, "His body needs some quiet time" and bring him to the previously identified place of respite so he can relax and regroup. Whether you stay with him or not, you or he will know when it is time to rejoin the group.

For the child with sensitive tastes or delicate tummies:

B.Y.O.F.- Bring Your own food - Holidays provide a great opportunity to try new foods. Taking a bite of cranberry for the first time can be a delight or a nightmare. If you know your child isn't going to eat what your host has served, be honest. Definitely let them know of any allergies ahead of time and if the list of your child's taste sensitivities is too long, bring an alternative food and don't apologize for it.

If the only thing your child will eat is a bologna sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, so be it, as long as the reason for it is a legitimate sensory issue. Giving in to a child's minor dislikes too easily will develop an expectancy for future requests to be honored and you will be contributing to the picky eater syndrome.

For the child with a sensitive nose:

Develop scent awareness - Be cautious of scents that you place around the house during the holiday season. A child with a sensitive nose may not react well to different smells. Potpourri, air fresheners and scented candles in particular can carry very intense odors that could be responsible for contributing to an outburst. Consider purchasing unscented products and stick to natural aromas. Be careful though, even the wonderful smell of a fresh cut Christmas tree might be overwhelming to the senses of some children on the autism spectrum.

As parents, you know your child as well as anyone and most of these sensitivities are well known to you but as children develop, new sensitivities can arise. Paying attention to clues and noticing new reactions right from the start can go a long way towards preventing unnecessary meltdowns due to sensory overloads. Don't let something as avoidable as this put a damper on your holiday celebrations this season.

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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Autistic Christmas - Making Christmas Easier on Your Autistic Child

Yes autism and Christmas. Now this is a time most children look forward to all year and parents do too. Autistic children often find this to be the hardest possible time of year. Routines and stability go out the window, the house is alive with all sorts of people and things are not the way they should be.

As any parent or caregiver of an autistic child knows, things go really bad when routines go out the window. Simple changes can be the hardest thing in the world for autistic children to cope with so all the changes that come with Christmas complicate their worlds even worse.

Decorations go up, trees, lights, everything becomes so overwhelming.

So how can you make this holiday season a little happier for your child?

Begin by remembering change is hard for them. Do things a little at a time, don't pack all the holiday stuff into just a couple of days, that leave them stressed and worn out (not to mention yourselves from coping with meltdowns.)

Give them warning, take it a step at a time so as not to overwhelm them. Giving them some advanced notice and showing them pictures of last years Christmas can help with the adjustment.

Be prepared for the coming meltdowns. Remember this is more difficult on them then you, so it is important that you give them more time, more patience, whatever it is they need to come through the holidays.

Let yourself say no. Yes it is the holidays and everyone wants to celebrate and have parties and lots of family around, but remember it is okay to say no to invites if for nothing more than your child's sanity and emotional well being.

And then comes Christmas day itself, be prepared for the meltdowns. Allow them the time they need to themselves. Let them open presents on their own timeline. If they can only handle one an hour then so be it. Wouldn't you rather give them the gift of love and care for their emotional well being than making sure all presents are opened right away in the rush of the morning?

Don't forget their needs this holiday season. Being a parent to a special needs child can be difficult, but being that special needs child is even more difficult.

Autistic children need all the more love and care, and holiday seasons are no exception, for more tips on making an autism Christmas work make sure you click here

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Autistic Children And Holidays - How You Can Make It The Best Holiday Yet

Having a child with autism can be difficult on any day. Make that day a holiday and the stress increases ten-fold. So many changes in settings, noise level, schedules and many other things make it very difficult for the autistic child to cope. What can you do to make the holiday season easier on your child?

First start preparing them way in advance. If they know a change is coming, they may take it easier, then if they simply have to cope with the change that day. Try to explain what will be happening, so that they have an idea ahead of time what to expect.

Give them safe zones. Is the house going to be full will people? Make sure that your child knows that it is okay for them to go to their own room if they are feeling overwhelmed by everything. Not going to be at home, bring a comfort item with you, or speak to the host and see if a room cannot be set up for the child in case they need to remove themselves from the situation. Just a little preparation beforehand can make all the difference in the stress level of the day.

Involve them. Let them pick the music that is playing, let them help decorate or pick what the lights on the tree do. By giving them some control over the environment, you're giving them something to focus on, other then the things that may stress them.

Don't over do it. Most children find the excitement of Christmas overwhelming. If non-autistic children find holidays overwhelming, imagine how your autistic child feels. Limit what you're doing in a day. Don't spend an entire day out and about visiting lots of relatives. Instead try to spread out the visits over a week, or have one parent remain at home with your child, while the other parent makes the rounds. Do whatever you can to reduce the stressful situations for your child during the holiday season to make it easier on all involved.

Try to maintain the normal routine as much as possible. With the holidays our schedules become hectic and very off the normal. Do you best to maintain as much normalcy as you can for your child, and you will find it much easier to cope yourself. Try to keep bedtime the same, bedtime routines how they should be. Keep as much of the day how it should be to ease the difficulties your child may have with the holidays.

Holiday seasons can go smoothly with an autistic child as long as you plan things out well. Just remember to let the child have some control over the situation, and line up safe zones for them for the times stress is just to much.

Autism and holidays can be a very difficult issue to cope with, for more coping methods click here!

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Autism and Holiday Breaks: Designing a Vacation Activity Schedule

Extended breaks from a routine can be refreshing and rejuvenating for many of us. That being the case, it is often comforting to fall back into your own pattern of daily life. Some of those affected by autism, though, have a very tough time adjusting to changes in their schedules and their surroundings. Therefore, a typically reinforcing vacation can spark numerous behavioral challenges and may leave you wondering what happened!

While it isn't possible to recreate an individual's school or daily schedule during holiday breaks and longer school absences, it is possible to help add a little more structure. Rigidity, on your part, is not the goal here (it is a vacation after all!) but most individuals with moderate to severe autism will often choose to follow a short activity schedule when given the choice. A short schedule such as this will most likely resemble what he/she is using at school; and therefore ease their anxiety or frustration. Unlike a school activity schedule, your vacation schedule can be composed of mainly fun or relaxing 'activities' with a few educational or chore associated items added as you see fit. An example of a vacation activity schedule could look like this:

10:00....
Watch TV
Play Outside
Computer

11:00...
Clean-up Room
Empty Laundry
Practice Piano

12:00 Lunch

Notice that there are choices when it comes to leisure and chore/educational activities. Also, sometimes there aren't any choices, such as at Lunch Time. Making sure that this schedule is followed to a tee is not the goal here. It will add some structure to their day and (very importantly) give you the ability to add unsuspected activities like Going to Grandmother's House. These unplanned events have the potential of intensifying a routine-break anxiety flare-up. When these trips/events are added to the vacation activity schedule in advance, it can help prepare the individual for this change in their routine.

Although it is a good goal to help individuals with ASD become more flexible when it comes to following (and not following) routines, these vacation schedules can really help in the mean time. Many of us (myself included) use a written or digital system to schedule our days, weeks or months. The digital era now provides any number of devices to help in this area, from PDA's to smart-phones, laptops, etc. My eyes were opened to this issue when I first began teaching students with autism. After a relatively short month and a half of summer vacation, I was preparing myself for a somewhat challenging week of teaching. After all, my students most likely haven't had many demands placed on them throughout the summer and now I would be asking them to complete any number of challenging activities. To my total surprise, most of my students seemed to enjoy the fact that they could now continue their school routines and behavior challenges were low! Again, it is important to add periodic changes to routines that will help create more flexibility. Remember to have fun and allow your son/daughter the ability to follow a routine that will help them acclimate.

The piano can be a great addition to any activity schedule!

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Autism and Holidays - 10 Tips For Enjoying Holidays With Your Autistic Child

The holidays are a special time to share with family and build memories. This can be very difficult for families with an Autistic child. You can still have an enjoyable celebration, it just means that as a parent you will have to take some extra care and be sure to plan ahead.

1. Keep Visits Short: Plan shorter visits with family and friends. This will help prevent your child from getting too tired or overstimulated. You can schedule several visits so you can still have the same quantity of time.
2. Have Fewer Visitors: If possible, keep the visitors to a few at time. This isn't always possible in a large family or where people are traveling from out-of-town. Another option is to have a quiet place for your child to retreat where they can be alone or with just a few family members.
3. Don't Force Activities: If you put too much energy into pressing an activity your child doesn't like, it will cause grief for all involved.
4. Keep Routines: If it is important to your child to go to bed or eat at a certain time, then hold to it. If it is not possible to keep the full routine, have them engage in similar activity at the regular time such as a nap, a snack, or a quiet time.
5. Divide Your Time: Spread holiday activities out to help keep your child's time and energy more balanced.
6. Shop Kid-Free: This is especially important if your child does not like crowds. The amount of activity during the holidays can be overwhelming enough for those of us without Autism.
7. Open a Few Presents at a Time: The excitement of opening gifts can get out of control and lead to over stimulation. Opening a few presents at a time can help your child enjoy their gifts even more.
8. Make Others Aware: It is important to communicate with family and friends. They may not understand the nuances of what your child needs or what is going to cause harm. There will probably be some who find fault in your methods. Remind yourself of what you know to be true about your child if a conflict occurs.
9. Focus on the Holidays: Holidays are meant to be spent with family and loved ones. Focus on your blessings and on the love you have for your family.
10. Reward Your Child's Good Behavior: This will be a positive reinforcement and may inspire your child to be on his best behavior.

Bonus Tip

Let Yourself Relax: If your child senses stress or anxiety from you they will follow suit. Remember to breathe deeply and remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes if necessary. Take some time to pamper yourself. It will help energize you to better care for you child.

The holidays with an Autistic child can be a wonderful time. Step back from your daily problems and struggles. Remember your blessings and enjoy the holidays with your family.

There are so many things to deal with when caring for an Autistic family member. Gaining knowledge is so very important. You may find http://www.myautisminfo.com to be a helpful tool.

http://www.myautisminfo.com has articles, videos and other resources to help you grow in the knowledge and understanding you need.

You are also invited to join the discussion through comments and the forum.

by Deborah Lee

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