How Massage Can Help You and Your Child With Autism

The recent CDC statistics that were released show that 1 in 50 children have Autism Spectrum disorder! This is an alarming increase from the last CDC statistics that estimated closer to 1 in 80. he CDC found more children above the age of 7 (above the age of normal diagnosis) which may account for the higher statistics. With the upcoming combination of what historically been several types of Autism into one encompassing Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD it creates a need for possibilities of treatment for the wide range of ages and symptoms with children diagnosed with ASD.
Massage is a great treatment option as it is not only low cost but helps facilitate and nurture a stronger bond between child and parent. The many benefits that may come from using massage are: improvements were seen in sleep patterns, on-task behavior, parent and child communication, increased positive responses to being touched, positive social interaction, motor skills, sensory function, language function, and general health. There are a lot of scientific data that backs up all of the benefits but results can still vary on each individual child..
Sleeping is a monumental issue with children of all ages, and something that parents can attest to after a long night of walking their child back to their room! A study done introduced the use of Touch to several families with ASD children, not only did the parents feel more in control and closer after the Touch training was done but also gained the perception by parents of the children as having improved sleep patterns, children were more relaxed after receiving the massage and appeared more open to touch1.
Children with autistic spectrum disorders (ASD) can often have trouble with attention behaviors which impact development of social interactions and relationships with others. In a study aimed at exploring how aromatherapy massage could increase shared attention behaviors, Steve Solomons, assistant head teacher at Rectory Paddock School and Research Unit in London set out to explore these issues. The children's responses were observed through the introduction of Aromatherapy. The results indicate that the children's shared attention behaviors increased during aromatherapy massage and other positive behavioral changes2.
Alternatively, standardized tests showed a decrease in common autistic behaviors, improvement in motor skills, sensory function, general health and language development in children. Using medical Qigong massage twice weekly from the physician and adding in daily massage from parents for a five week period created these results.
Multiple studies have shown that through the use of massage, children with ASD have seen improvements in wandering, more time showing on-task behavior, less time showing negative responses to being touched, and less time resisting the teacher than those in the control group4. Others reaffirm the use of massage as a way to improve social relatedness behavior during play observations at school, and fewer sleep problems at home5.
With all of the documented reasons why to start massaging there are some considerations to keep in mind. Similar to any medical treatment, consultation and guidance of a healthcare provider is a necessity! Important things to remember when massing your child is to always ask the permission, keeping the child involved is key, additionally adjusting and adapting your massage strokes for your child taking care and caution, making eye contact and continually using verbal and visual ques during the massage.
Copyright (c) 2013 Liddle Kidz Foundation Infant and Children's Pediatric Massage

Looking for tips and techniques to improve your child's health? Find answers to all your questions about autism massage, children's and pediatric massage at http://www.liddlekidz.com.

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A Simple Strategy for Overcoming Resistance in a Child With Autism

Has your child ever vehemently resisted your request to perform a task?
I worked with a young mom recently who came to me exasperated by her daughter's refusal to wash her hands and dry them or sometimes have a meltdown when the mom would do this task for her. The mom was at her wit's end and having tried many ways to make her daughter comply she resorted to punishment and loss of privileges as a last resort.
It turned out that there was an easy solution to this problem behavior but one that the parent had never even considered - she didn't even think it was in the realm of possibilities. Why? Because when I asked this mom if her child had any sensory issues she said, "No, they ruled out the diagnosis of a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)."
There are many children, on and off the spectrum, that are diagnosed with SPD and the Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation places the estimate of affected children at about one in 20 children. Individuals who have sensory issues have brains that are wired in such a way that it is difficult for them to accurately filter the sensory information that is coming in. Either the brain reads the sensory input as way too much or way too little. If a child has significant impairment in this area they earn the label of SPD.
But what if the impairment is not severe enough?
Can such a child still have sensory issues?... The answer is yes.
Children with sensory sensitivities can be hyper or hypo sensitive to different types of visual input or certain touches, tastes, textures, smells and noises. I have known many children who:

• will only wear clothes made of soft fabrics,
• are particular about the seams in their socks and where they fall on their feet,
• gag at the smell or texture of a certain food,
• are overly sensitive to bright lights,
• sit on a cold, hard toilet seat
• have difficulty concentrating due to the humming noise that fluorescent lights emit in a classroom.

In addition to these commonly know reactions that sensory issues can bring about there are many resistant behaviors that can be triggered by a particular sensory challenge, especially if your child is on the Autism spectrum. Your child may not have full-blown SPD yet he or she may be sensitive enough to various stimuli that it will affect his or her behavior in a negative way.
So if your child does not meet the criteria for SPD don't rule out the presence of sensory sensitivities. Just because your senses can tolerate a certain stimuli it is possible that the same experience can assault one or more of your child's senses.
That's right, there may be a simple reason why your child resists certain activities or refuses to cooperate. Your child may not be behaving badly - his behavior might simply be a result of a sensory sensitivity.
When you have a child that is challenged in this way, a simple sound, taste, smell or touch can send them over the top. You may find them refusing to do certain tasks or rejecting activities that seem so simple to us. As a parent it is sometimes all to easy to judge this behavior as willful, stubborn and resistant, especially when we look at it through the lens of our own experience and perspective.
Behaviors can be very baffling to parents, which is why you need to examine them through the lens that your child experiences the world with because most likely it is very foreign to our own. Once you identify and understand that the behavior is triggered by an over reaction to sensory input it becomes easier to address.
As in the scenario of the mom and little girl that I introduced above, it turned out that this young lady had a sensory aversion to the touch of a wet, slippery, squishy bar of soap, therefore she resisted touching it unless the bar of soap was dry and firm. Also, the texture of the towels seemed to be a turn off for her and even though this little girl was not Goldilocks finding a towel that was 'not too hard, not too soft - but just right' was the key to turning her behavior around.
mom switched to a liquid soap that her daughter helped pick out in order to make sure the smell would be agreeable to her - just in case her overly sensitive nose was part of the problem - and mom began to use non-scented fabric softener and dry the towels in the dryer as opposed to line drying them, her daughter had no objection to washing her hands.
I help many parents create sensory-friendly environments that can enhance a child's level of cooperation and reduce negative outbursts. In this particular story, the behavior was resolved in an uncomplicated fashion. Unfortunately, the solution is not always this simple but the outcome can be just as positive especially when a parent is willing to think outside the box and see things from their child's point of view.
If your child displays a behavior that baffles you, consider the possibility of a sensory issue at play. Remember, your child does not have to have a
Sensory Processing Disorder in order to have an extreme sensory reaction to something. Many of us can relate to the awful feeling that fingernails down a blackboard can produce in us. If you can accept this as an understandable reaction in yourself all you have to do is stretch your imagination a bit and accept the fact that something else less typical can have a similar effect on your child.

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website to access Happy Parents, Happy Kids - Overcoming Autistic Behavioral Issues at http://parentcoachingforautism.com/how-we-help/products, a program to help you change behaviors, and get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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Potty Training A Child With Autism

Ahh... Toilet training! That delightful challenge every parent has to face... and it can be pretty hard work at the best of times, even with healthy children. So imagine how tricky things can get when you add autism into the mix. But help is at hand, and we're going to look at a few tips and techniques you can try to make potty training easier and, hopefully, more successful.
1 Patience - Your Number 1 Virtue
Never lose sight of the fact that it's going to be a bit of a journey and it won't be straightforward. So don't get totally wound up and don't feel a failure. You might have to try more than one thing to find the right solution for your child. Every child is different and there's no one-size-fits-all quick, clean easy answer.
2 Is your Child Ready?
Just because you might have read somewhere that children are ready at the age of two, it doesn't mean that it's the magic age for your child. You have to look for signs of readiness, and these could show much later than average. For example, look for signs of your child:

• being aware that they have a wet or dirty diaper/nappy - they could pull at it, or take it off, for instance
• being able to imitate what you do - so you can effectively demonstrate sitting on the toilet
• responding well to positive reinforcement - when you give your child something they like they're more likely to do the behaviour you're teaching them. (We call this 'loving bribery' in our house)
• staying clean and dry most nights

3 When should you start?
If your child shows the readiness signs later than average children, don't worry - it's quite usual for autistic children. Just make sure that your child is happy to co-operate, can sit on a potty for a toilet for a short time, is able to dress and undress and recognises the clues that mean they need the bathroom.
4 Coping with Impaired Social Interaction
Problems understanding language and logic could mean that your child finds it difficult to understand what they're expected to do. Why should they pee or poop in the toilet or potty rather than their diaper or nappy? And they also may find it difficult to express what they need. Your challenge here is to recognise their cues and help them to tell you what they want.
5 Coping with Sensory Problems
Unusual reactions to sensory stimuli - for instance, smells temperature and sounds - are experienced by many autistic children, so watch how your child reacts in or near the bathroom. Do the different smells from cleaning liquids and perfumes in the room cause problems? Is the bathroom colder or hotter than other rooms and do they respond negatively to the change in temperature? Do the noisy pipes and flushing toilet upset them?
The key here is to remove as many of the upsetting obstacles as you can. That could mean putting lower wattage lights in the room, making sure your child wears socks or slippers on the tiled floor or explaining the noises and making them into a game.
6 Using Rewards
This is my family's 'Loving Bribery' system! By the way, it works a treat with all toddlers and most adults, so by all means use widely! First, identify something your child loves. This could be a food treat or special drink, or maybe a particular toy. Then make sure that everyone only gives your child this reward as part of toilet training. The aim is to associate the loved thing with a specific behaviour and so increase the likelihood of that behaviour happening.
7 Identify Your Child's Routine
By creating a time log of what your child does and when - and what the outcomes are - you will be able to build these times into your toilet training. So, over a week, write down times your child eats and drinks, wets, soils and is changed. Then when you know, for example, that your child wets 15 minutes after drinking you can make that part of the toilet training process.
8 Punishment is Outlawed!
Toilet accidents are not to be punished. It's far more useful to use them as opportunities to explain to your child why they should use the potty. Make sure that everyone who has contact with your child understand this and follows your system.
9 And Stress is Outlawed, Too!
There is absolutely no benefit to you or your child getting stressed and harassed over potty training. If your child feels pushed into a corner they won't co-operate and they'll turn against the very things you're trying to get them to use. Let them get used to the potty or toilet without expecting results. make as much of this into a game as you can. And DON'T get wound up yourself. You do need to be strong, cool and calm.
And finally... Remember what we've said throughout this article: the Potty Training Process IS going to take time... just give it the time it needs for your child to latch onto a new idea and a new skill. And stay positive!

Jane Howitt studied dentistry, went on to graduate as a psychologist and is an experienced teacher and a copywriter. She has written extensively about Autism and is committed to disseminating valuable information to those who need it. Visit her blog at Essential Info About Autism

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Autism and Asperger's Syndrome - Can a Child With Autism Recover From Being Bullied?

Yes, children with Asperger's syndrome or high functioning autism can recover from bullying by following this three step process.
I interview a young adult who has high functioning autism. Here is her heroic story of overcoming the terrible effects of teasing and bullying. And by using this story of this young woman, we show how a three-step process can help overcome the effects of years of bullying.
Kids as well as adults with Asperger's syndrome often have more than their fair share of bullying and negative social experiences in their formative years. Bullying is hard for anyone to cope with, but for extra sensitive kids with Asperger's syndrome or autism, even mild teasing or exclusion can really change the way they view themselves and their damage their self-esteem. Years later, they may still find themselves affected.
So what can you do to help yourself or a loved one on the autism spectrum recover a sense of confidence after trauma at the schoolyard?
The other day, a friend of mine asked me a question that got me thinking. She had previously told me how her college roommates excluded her and made fun of her, and how she found it hard to talk to anyone now or make friends. She was constantly thinking that other people thought the worst of her, even several years removed from the experience. She had so much anxiety she could hardly talk to people. "How," she asked me, "do I regain my confidence?"
As she talked, my mind wandered back to my own experiences with the very same issue she was having.
What helped me? What would help her? As a person with high functioning autism, what could I do?
1. Surround yourself with positive, accepting people.
Even if you don't know them well, join a church, a hobby group, or a support group, or stick close to any friends you may already have. These groups may not have any members with autism but that does not matter.
Most of my negative social experiences were in junior high and high school. When it came time to choose a college, my only criteria was one with as open and tolerant a student body as possible. Two years after I started college at a small liberal arts college with a very friendly and accepting student body, I noticed something. I was no longer afraid of people. My anxiety and issues with being teased as a child with autism were subsiding.
Overcoming Past Reflexes
I had spent most of the last two years unable to shed my previous reflexes from middle and high school. I was sure everyone was talking about me behind my back, knowing that I has high functioning autism. I was positive if I passed a group of students and heard them laugh, that they were laughing at me.
I scurried away when other kids approached. I kept waiting to hear negative things about myself from others.
And waiting. And waiting.
It never happened.
I never did get any negative comments from others. Instead, people were warm and conversational towards me. Having autism was manageable. We might not have been fast friends, but I had many people who I chatted with, and no matter how much I thought they would, none of them ever walked away laughing about me afterwards.
Two years later, I finally got it -- I was okay the way I was. These people liked me, eccentricities and all. They even admired my uniqueness, wanted to find out more about me. Finally, I felt comfortable in my own skin.
So, the moral of the story is...
Try to replace your negative social experiences with ones that at least have the potential to be good. And then be prepared to wait, because unfortunately, healing takes time. But it does happen -- even for those of us on the autism spectrum.
2. Write about it
I can't count the number of times I sat in my college's computer lab, pouring out the stories of those years to a blank computer screen. I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote some more.
I submitted a story about bullying to my college literary magazine, and wrote about in occasional assignments for writing classes. Eventually, I think all that writing got it out of my system, because I finally got to a point where I was sick of writing about it. I was starting to recover and heal from the awful bullying I endured as a child with autism.
I had expressed every emotion, examined every situation from every angle, and finally felt some measure of peace about it.
Writing can be a great way to get out emotions and stories hidden deep inside you that you might not have another way to express.
Suggest to your loved one that they keep a diary about these experiences.
Perhaps model to them how to do it. If you think it will help, buy one of those fancy, elegant paper diaries with pretty designs and a lock to help entice a female loved one to start writing.
Writing tip -- many people struggle with writer's block when they first start. If you can't think of anything to write about, then just write whatever the first thing that comes to mind is. And keep writing, no matter how silly you think it is. Eventually you will access deeper thoughts.
3. Talk about it
There are some pretty strong emotions that go along with being bullied, whatever the situation. Shame, humiliation, self-blame, and lack of confidence in yourself, to name a few. It helps to talk to people about what you're feeling. This can be a friend, family member, or therapist. They can help you process your feelings. They might seem overwhelming at first, but the more times you tell the story, the less power it has over you. Don't give your negative emotions power over you by not expressing them.
Parents, encourage your loved ones with autism to talk about their experiences. Do not judge or minimize anything they say. A counselor may be helpful.
There is hope for those with autism who have been teased and bullied.
I will never forget standing in my guidance counselor's office in high school, and catching sight of an article in a magazine there. It was an article about a girl who had been bullied quite badly in school, and it had taken her six years of counseling to regain her confidence. Six years???! I remember thinking when I read that.
You've got to be kidding me! Six years seemed an eternity. I knew I couldn't take six years more of feeling like this! In the end, it was probably more like three or four (and more life experiences than therapy that helped). But it was worth it to get to the other side. It's worth it to be able to live your life not having to always look over your shoulder. To bask in the simple knowledge that you are liked, even loved by others, is the sweetest reward of all.
So what did I say to my friend when she asked me? I said, "Surround yourself with people who are good to you, make an effort to interact, and the rest will come." Healing has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it, even for those of us on the autism spectrum.

For more advice specifically aimed at adults with Asperger's and high functioning autism, see the book Thriving in Adulthood with Asperger's Syndrome. And to find advice and help to live a happy and fulfilled life with autism, see www.AutismParenthood.com. There you can find articles, tips and advice from experts and moms who have raised children on the autism spectrum.

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Raising a Child With Autism When Hugs Are In Short Supply

Will a diagnosis of an Autism Spectrum Disorder limit my emotional connection to my child? As parents we all want to cuddle, kiss and hold our children. Not only do they feel good to hold but they smell good too - most of the time. But what is a parent to do when their child pulls away from their touch, refuses to be embraced or won't hug back?

There is a misconception that children with Autism are incapable of showing affection but many have found they are indeed capable of expressing love, they just do it in non-conventional ways. Another theory is that children with Autism feel emotions so fiercely that they are easily overwhelmed with what to do with them. All children are wired differently and your child's emotional availability will depend on where he or she lies on the Autism spectrum.

The pain of realizing your child may never display the level of physical affection that you had hoped for is not to be treated lightly. It is a loss of an ideal you held about parenting and should be addressed. Accepting it as fact is the first step that will help you move beyond and open yourself up to other signals that may not look the same but carry the same message.

All parents anticipate a reciprocal response to their physical displays of affection but if that is all you seek you can set yourself up for constant disappointment. Recognizing that your child may never initiate a hug or say I love you is very troubling to accept. As unfortunate as this is, it is a situation that calls for a major shift in perspective. As a parent in such circumstances, you have to lower your expectations, increase your patience and develop a special mindset in order to cope. Here are some suggestions to help you get started.

- Invade your child's world.

As adults we tend to make the mistake of expecting our children to conform to our world and respond as we do but a much more productive approach, especially with a child on the Autism spectrum, is to invade their world first. The more a parent can experience the world through their child's Autistic lens, the more easily one can understand and accept their child's unique way of relating. Making an effort to enter into your child's world will help you discover the particular nuances in his behavior that signify expressions of affection and a real connection to you.

- Play detective.

The possibility of a meaningful and loving connection lies in your ability to look upon your circumstance as a new adventure and adopt the role of investigator. As you become alert and watchful for those slight gestures and signs that say, "I care" - you may be pleasantly surprised at what you find. That blank stare focused in your direction may be saying a lot more than you think.

Here are some clues to look for when trying to determine how your child shows affection:

• Occasional eye contact

• Letting you play with or touch a favorite item

• A slight touch or pat

• Drawing you a picture

• A certain noise or tone of voice

• A handshake or a high five

• Squeals of laughter

- Keep hope alive.

Never give up that your child will be able to learn how to show affection towards you because affection is a learned behavior that all children can be taught to some degree. Once you have dissected how you child relates to her environment you can begin to pull her into your world and teach her other ways of relating. Children on the Autism spectrum just need more time and practice to learn how to express themselves spontaneously.

As you gather clues and develop a greater awareness of how your child relates to everything around him or her you will detect revealing patterns. Being alert to behaviors that show a level of caring, even if minimal, will help give the ongoing bonding process with your child a boost. Eventually you and your child will find your own rhythm, your own special dance that says 'I love you'.

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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Divorce and Autism: Making the Best of an Unfortunate Situation

The myth that families of children with Autism have an 80% divorce rate was proven false by researcher Brian Freedman, PhD, clinical director of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore, as this article, Autism Families: High Divorce Rate Is a Myth, states. Despite the fact that parents of a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder experience more stress, the rates of divorce remain similar to those of parents with neuro-typical children. Unfortunately, that does not mean that parents of special needs children do NOT get divorced.

So what is a parent of a child with Autism to do when they suddenly become an every other weekend dad or mom? The answer is the same I would give any other divorced parent; find a way to co-parent constructively. When couples with children divorce it becomes necessary for them to mindfully redefine their relationship. Remember that there are no ex-parents, only ex-spouses. Despite the fact that the marriage has ended the parenting connection will continue forever.

The best gift any parent can give their child in this situation is to make a conscious effort to redesign their roles, without conflict and negativity. This means:

1. Putting the needs of the children first.

2. Separating parenting issues from personal issues.

3. Establishing new boundaries.

4. Discovering a way to effectively communicate with one another.

This is much easier said than done but here are a few suggestions to keep you on track.

- Communicate regularly with your ex about the therapies your child is receiving and find out how you can reinforce them during your time together. Consistency is important for children on the spectrum and keeping schedules and routines as similar as possible between houses will help.

- Pay attention to your environment and try to look at it from your child's perspective. Taking your child's sensory sensitivities in mind try to create a space for him that will be predictable and comforting in order to make her feel secure in their other home.

- Be mindful of how your child handles the transitions when moving from house to house. Coping with a new situation takes time. Keep in mind that it will take her a while to settle in when first arriving from the home of your ex.

- Don't let guilt run the way you parent. Remain in charge. Your children need to know the boundaries and how to be responsible for themselves more than ever. Loving, positive rules create emotional order, which in turn allows character and love to grow.

- Create your own family rituals, they make great memories. This can be as simple as having regular family meals with candlelight, making bedtime a predictable routine with storytelling, or creating traditions for holidays and special events.

- Remember that love is not about externals. You don't have to be a Disneyland dad or an overindulgent mom. Spend your time, not your money, on making genuine connections that create secure relationships with your children. This will reduce the need your children may have to search for outside 'things' to feel valued and important.

- Manage your new home with the same close attention you give your job/career/ business. Remember, in this job, you are the boss and you run the household. Keep in mind how you would rate yourself on a performance evaluation.

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources - a parenting e-course, Parenting a Child with Autism - 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

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