Autistic Children Wished You Knew - The Difference Between Can't and Won't

When children don't listen to us, or do the things we ask, we often assume that they are not doing it because they won't. They don't want to. With special needs children, such as those on the autism spectrum, this is not always the case. In fact, it is often not the case at all. It is not a matter of them not wanting to do it, but actually an inability for them to do it. Even though they want to or try to, they simply cannot do it. It can be something that seems so simple to us, or so simple for other children, but for an autistic child, it may seem like you are asking them to fly to the moon.

Always take into consideration the abilities of the child, whether of special needs or not. Some children have a natural ability for some things, well other children, cannot do it no matter what. They can try with all their might, but it is just not going to happen. Simple things like potty training may be outside the realm of ability for an autistic child. They may try and they may really want to, but they cannot because their senses are distorted. To most it is simply a matter of learning the feeling of a full bladder. Yet when you add in distorted senses or sensory issues, they may not interpret the feeling the same way and as a result may still wet themselves. This is not something they want to do. Of course, we all want to be dry and comfortable, and those with sensory issues may actually want it more so than us, it is a matter of them not being able to do it, because of the issues they experience.

All children need special attention and care, and all children will learn things in their own way and time. It is important to remember with any and all children that there will be some things they simply cannot do. It is not a matter of won't, it is a matter of can't, and it is our responsibility as parents to understand the difference and not penalize our children for things they can't do and to appreciate and celebrate in all the things they can do.

Autistic children need special love and care to develop to their full potential. For more tips on raising autistic children click here!

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