It never fails. The emails and forums I have joined have mothers all over the world struggling to potty train their toddler son. I had a great deal of difficulty potty training my oldest son Caleb. I was to the point of depression. Caleb was nearing his fourth birthday and it was getting near time to register for Head Start Pre-K. The only thing was he had to be potty trained! A few months before registration I finally succeeded thanks to a dear friend of mine and her website.
I can personally tell you I do understand the frustrations and difficulties of potty training boys. Caleb was doing well pee peeing in the potty at 2 1/2. But then some major changes took place in our lives. His father and I separated, his sister went to live with their father, I lost my job, we moved, and then months later I had a baby.
So potty training was difficult and at times impossible to attempt. It was so embarrassing though to be in a store and smell your son because he had an accident. Caleb would play outside with the neighborhood kids but then they would come knocking on my door because Caleb had an accident.
I was frustrated which didn't help anything. I was feeling like an incompetent mom. In fact, when I was in the middle of a custody battle for my youngest son, his father taunted me over the issue of my Caleb not being potty trained. Some days he acted as if he didn't care or it didn't bother him to have a soiled pull up.
My dear friend Janice who has worked with toddlers for most of her adult life as well as her own two grown boys. She has successfully potty trained hundreds of children including autistic and developmentally delayed children.
When I was struggling, Janice came to me and reassured me that Caleb would be potty trained. I felt I was so far gone in believing he would though. However, when I felt ready and Caleb was too, I went for it. And in one weekend, Caleb successfully was potty trained!
What I did discover is that it takes patience, sometimes a great deal of it to get through the potty training process. With my son Caleb, I didn't have any patience. I got angry and frustrated. Shortly after he was potty trained and had entered school, tests at school revealed Caleb had several developmental delays. Most likely that played a big part of his delay in potty training. Parents of autistic, developmentally delayed or disabled children especially have to stick with it. Tantrums, regression and frustration are going to happen. Parents just have to learn to let it go and stay positive.
Easier said than done, right? There are going to be good days and bad days. One thing to remember is that if you are angry, frustrated, even disappointed your child is going to pick up on that. If you are one who prays or meditates make it a habit to do so in the mornings, the middle of the day and at night. Do something(s) that help you relax and stay calm.
Having support is great too. However, there are those people like me who were potty training without support, until the end. It is best to make sure that you and your child are ready for this milestone before attempting it.
Pushing it will cause rebellion, regression and will only delay things even longer. Wait till your child shows good interest in using the potty. Also, during the process your focus will be on the child. If you have other children who have been potty trained have them help out. My son Caleb is now being big brother to Hunter who will be turning three very soon. Hunter is in the midst of showing interest in the potty.
Once potty training has been successful there are no more diapers to spend money on or stink up the garbage and the house! Accidents may happen but things will get better. Potty training is a milestone that will let your child know that they can do things on their own. It also means that you will have more freedom to do things with your child.
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